Could someone please tell me where the book is on parenting again? I think we have found ourselves asking that question as of late... I mean really for jumping into the parent roll we feel like we have been thrown into the ocean and are given bits of survival artifacts one at a time... and a tidal wave is a coming! Haha, really we are doing fine, but we are looking to the school year starting in a week and we are already consumed by schedules and the overwhelming sensation that we have absolutely no idea what we are doing. They are registered for school...we have school supplies...they will see the dentist again in October...we have new shoes and outfits galore...Waylon has already gone to football practice and is fully loaded with helmets and pads and bla bla all those things...Elva is still doing piano... haven't found her a gymnastics place yet which gives me a bit of anxiety...and well we know what day is the first day and where to go drop them off! Other than that we are clueless. Found out tonight, for example, that there is meet the teacher next Monday... umm ok how was I supposed to know that! Aaand Waylon needs a physical for football... geeze. When I say we are busy, I honestly mean we are busy... its not like I've neglected to check the school and MISD website or even the football website, I have, I did, but where was the listing for all these other things? What else are we missing I wonder haha!
[And I would like to add that the "busy" part is spent mostly making sure we just spend time with them... again memories, its all about making memories, and I try to make a point to have a special moment with each child everyday... can't get too "busy" with stuff that I forget to give them the love they need and missed out on for so many years!]
The last month has been a crazy, testy blast. Crazy in that we have tried to jam pack as much stuff in their summer as we can without getting too carried away, and testy because... well you can just guess... its been "lets throw a fit" season. I wouldn't say they have been bad. I don't want to call my kids bad. I will say that there has been a bit of the test of authority and respect that has happened, only these kids don't know who they are messing with. I may not know how to juggle school and being a football mom, but I know that standing strong and teaching my kids good morals is vital to their future successes and longevity in life. So we have had a few changes in how we handle things, but for the most part I've been in awe of how God has pulled us together. Its so weird to think back a year... 6 months... even just 3 months ago, how much they have changed. I give the glory for all that to God alone. There is no room for pride in this family bc without God forming us as a unit and allowing us to go through these tough times, we wouldnt be standing here as a family of four.
I do have to share the bittersweetness of today. [Yes that is a run on word but I don't care]. The kids social worker has been cleaning out their file and came across some pictures and letters from their "other" family. I was excited to see the pictures bc I thought this was my chance to get a baby picture of my kids! Well... when I got the package, it just reminded me of the heart break these kids have gone through. How they were so innocent and thought their lives were full and then it was ripped apart from poor decisions and neglect. Yes there is a baby picture or two of them in there... but they all have various faces in the pictures with them. Faces that would only bring up the past and may or may not spark a relapse to the uncertain times in their lives. I don't want to have to fight for my kids to remember who their family is now or to watch them go through those emotions. There will be a day for them to see the pictures... and if God wills it, there will be a day for them to read the letters from their mom. I read them. Why wouldn't I? And it was the hardest thing for me to do not to become so angry at her and think such negative thoughts. I had to remember that this woman needs redemption, and even if every part of my mind screams that she doesn't deserve it, I know what she needs is a relationship with Jesus. I may not ever be ok with her as my kids first mom, but that doesn't mean I should hate her or wish negative things on her. I just simply pray for her and have to leave it at that. There will be a day for us to relive the past, but I know God will prepare us for that day together... as one united family.
So the sweet part of the above paragraph is that we also got in the mail a smaller letter that contained two of the most important pieces of paper I have ever held in my hands. The kids' birth certificates. And under mother, its lists my name. Under father, Robert's name. How sweet it is to see that just as when we become Christian's and accept Jesus Christ into our hearts, that He writes His name over our past... over our sin... ushering in eternal life forever... and in our kids' case, our names have been written over their past, and into their forever. I regard those pieces of paper as very important and highly valuable. Jesus does the same with our lives. Just a thought :)
And now we will commence with the coming of the tidal wave... any other schooling parenting advice about juggling ridiculous sports schedules and all that jazz, we would like to hear it! [and to know we are not the only crazy ones :) ]
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6